I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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