cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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