Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
