nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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