nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
