I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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