They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
