Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
The power of my boobs compel you
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
