so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
