CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
