have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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