You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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