it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
