puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
