I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
