Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I will be naked everywhere
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
