It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
