There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
