How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
