Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
