I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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