I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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