the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
