Duck Duck Cougar?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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