to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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