Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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