I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
another moral hangover. fuck.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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