My brain says no but my pants say off.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
