He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
