So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
