I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
