i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just had sex on a roof
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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