The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
