Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
