I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
birth control should be required to get into college
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
