My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
