My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
