i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
