Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
