i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
