Do you still have your period?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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