so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
