My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
