My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
