Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
