I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
