I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
