I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
