I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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