people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
