didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
